My future
Honestly the things I find out are hurting me and making me doubt what is possibly in the future. I know what you say and most of what you’ve done. It I don’t feel like your best friend anymore. And that is more worrisome than anything, yea I know no one actually shares everything with everyone but sometimes I wish people did. It would make things easier to understand. Cuz I think about how I’ve given so many people so many chances and almost all of those people have fucked up those chances, idk which ones of them are important enough to stay and those I should push away, I feel like I can’t make these decisions right away, cuz honestly I think I need to see how much they actually care about my happiness, not how happy they are because I make them happy. I know I’m a great friend and a great lover but is that why I’m wanted? Idk what about is actually special and what isn’t. I’ve been so violated throughout my life by so many people that it makes it hard to trust anyone and really hard to let myself out there so it’s hard to let go of the familiar things. I just want to figure things out and stop being confused.
